I’m shook.
Last night I came to the realization that my self-confidence has been shaken. It wasn’t one event or circumstance. It was gradually over time … pandemic time. I realized that my professional self-confidence is only a glimmer of what it was pre-COVID. Like the frog in the boiling pot analogy, I didn’t even realize what was happening.
This is how I began a recent post on LinkedIn. What I wrote as a journal entry of sorts struck a chord with many people in the LinkedIn community, and the outpouring of support has been eye-opening to me. The reverberations caused by this social media post has taught me some valuable lessons:
- I am not alone in my plight.
- I need to speak openly about my struggles.
- I need to be reminded of my strengths and achievements.
Whether it is a toxic work culture, isolation, unpredictability or other reason causing a decline in your self-confidence, know that you are not alone.
It is a sad but very real fact that many others are going through similar struggles. I am not going to blame everything on the pandemic, but it certainly has affected the way we work and the way we interact with each other, and in my case I believe it has exacerbated a toxic work culture.
When you work with a servant leader and a team akin to a tight-knit family, some of these new work challenges are manageable. If that work culture changes, it becomes exceedingly difficult to cope. The first step is to know that you are not alone in feeling this way.
I have had so many colleagues, friends and complete strangers reach out to me about my LinkedIn post to tell me that it resonated with them. Just this confirmation alone has helped me think about things in a different way. Aha! It’s not just me. There is so much comfort in knowing that there are others that have been through this, and going through this.
This brings me to my next important lesson: Speak about your struggles.
When we are open and honest about our struggles, wonderful things can happen. You may find out that the problem isn’t you. You may learn that you’ve been gaslighted. You may learn that there are other factors at play. But you won’t know unless you speak openly about your struggle.
It’s not that easy. I get it. Sometimes, there are politics at play, others may be affected, or you fear retaliation. It may have to get to a point where you no longer care about politics, retaliation or collateral damage. Regardless, be bold. Take a chance. Put it out there. People are listening, and your journey matters to others more than you may imagine.
Finally, seek out feedback from those who know you, your work product and your professional style.
Do not hide away in an echo chamber of self-doubt. Let colleagues and friends who have seen your achievements and witnessed your professionalism and strengths remind you how kick-ass you are. I’ve been so blessed to have my friends, colleagues and total strangers reach out to me to provide encouragement.
Do not regard this as narcissism or a fleeting need for admiration. We all need that pep talk, validation and confirmation that we are seen and that we are valued. Do not allow negative talk, whether external or internal, to dispute or diminish what you know to be true about yourself.
The following quote has stayed with me for years. I have applied it in many situations: relationships with a significant other, friendships, professional associations and even on my odyssey of self-knowledge. As with any struggle, learn from it, become better, but also be kind to yourself.
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
― Dinah Maria Mulock Craik
Helen Yoon is an experienced legal executive and currently works as assistant general counsel for North America for Brink’s, Inc. She received her bachelor of arts in history from the University of Texas at Austin and her juris doctorate from the University of Houston Law Center. She has been practicing law for over 20 years in various corporate legal departments and is also a co-owner of a small business – an art studio. Helen is passionate about sponsorship, mentorship and promoting minority women into leadership roles. She serves on the board of directors of the DFW Chapter of the Association of Corporate Counsel and is interested in serving on other nonprofit boards.