I want to tell you about an exceptional woman, Isabel Zoghby Ackels, who was born in 1925.
She was an oratory champion and valedictorian of her high school class. She had a scholarship to an out of state college, but because the local college did not take women her father would not let her go away to college. She married Lawrence Ackels Sr., and they had 10 children: six sons and four daughters. She postponed her formal education until the youngest of her children started school. She would go on to graduate summa cum laude from the University of Texas at Dallas at the age of 54. Seven of her children became lawyers. Like their father, all seven graduated from SMU law school, with most practicing today in the Dallas firm that bears the family name: Ackels & Ackels.
Isabel is remembered as a woman of grace and strength who brought together the unique ability and capacity to be a wife, mother and active civic leader. Her most outstanding quality was her sense of sacrifice and giving for her family and others, along with her tremendously strong faith and religious beliefs. She epitomized the strength, courage and tenacity of a former generation who advanced the cause of women’s rights and inspired the women who came after.
She was my mother, friend and role model for the person I wanted to be.
Making others feel valued was a common theme in our home. One of my brother’s remarked that “Although our mother had 10 children, we each felt as if she treated each of us like an only child.”
She took time to listen to each of us — our wants, dreams, goals. But she was not too busy to notice the needs of others and quietly did something about it. We learned by watching her deeds. One time she saw the nuns at our parochial grade school hanging clothes on their clothesline and bought them a dryer, even though she didn’t have enough to repair her own broken dryer.
I remember watching her cook hot meals and take them out to the strangers working outside our home on a cold day. There were countless meals she prepared and delivered to families in their time of need, and she fed the neighborhood children with her homemade bread.
She did not cut corners when it came to supporting her family, although she did clip coupons! Watching her raise her children empowered me with ways to raise mine. She was totally devoted to her family and sacrificed her own well-being for them. She lived with an illness for 27 years without telling anyone outside her immediate family, but she continued to supply amazing strength and support to us all, even when she was at times confined to her bedroom.
What she lacked in physical strength, she made up in sheer determination and personal sacrifice which we witnessed every day. To her accomplished children, she was indeed the “wind beneath our wings.” From her I learned tools to balance my home and work life and, and like her, my proudest accomplishment is my family.
When I graduated from law school, the class of women ahead of me had sued many of the major firms in Dallas who had not hired women. Jackson Walker had hired Jo Jenkins Mitchell who interviewed me on campus and brought me to Jackson Walker where I was the only woman in litigation and, later, the first woman associate to make partner.
My mentors were mostly male attorneys at Jackson Walker who generously gave their time to teach and guide me. In turn, I made it a point to seek out women as they joined the profession and try to serve as a mentor, to help them succeed in their many roles. Sometimes it is just knowing that someone is willing to help, to support you, to believe in you, that enables you to weather a crisis and move forward.
I learned this from my dear mother, Isabel. When I was in a crisis moment, whether at home where my husband Al and I were raising our own six children, or trying to overcome what seemed like insurmountable obstacles, I could always call her for strength and encouragement. She would say, “You can do it, I’ll help you. I’m there for you.” Her words were enough to encourage me to go on. I find myself saying that to women who seek me out in a crisis in their life. I just let them know, “You can do it, I’m there for you. I’ll help you.”
She was my inspiration as I had our six children while practicing law at Jackson Walker. I was a litigator for my first 12 years of practice, but after our fourth child I had to find a more flexible office practice. With my husband being a pediatrician, I noticed that the healthcare providers had little legal assistance, so I transitioned to healthcare, which enabled me to work from home and be there for my growing family.
Throughout my career, I continued to do volunteer work for some nonprofit entities. And it is no accident that the vast majority of my clients are nonprofit entities whose charity mission I support. My healthcare work is mainly with several Texas public hospitals. I currently serve as the general counsel of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Dallas. I see my role, not just as an attorney, but as a counselor, like the old concept of The Family Solicitor, who guided the course of the family business with sound judgment.
My family taught me that service is a way of life, and it is through service that we change the world. Early in my career I made a conscious decision to extend that philosophy to my practice in law. Rather than focusing on getting more clients, or billing more hours, I asked every day what things I could do to be of greater service to my clients.
I believe it is that core principle that has guided my career. I was taught to be fair to everyone in all your dealings. This is not always easy. One lawyer friend at a different firm told me he has to check his integrity at the door when he goes to work. I was shocked and responded, “How could you work at such a place?” I have practiced law at Jackson Walker for 44 years, and there has not been a single day that I felt that way. I am grateful for the faithful, lasting support and integrity of my law firm.
A client once told me that it was apparent that my mother raised me to be kind to others because that is the way you should be. He then said that was not how his mother had raised him. He said his mother raised him to be good to others because they might do something nice back for him. While both philosophies might make successful business people, I truly believe that the purpose for which I have become successful is to show that it can be done with the first philosophy — through giving without expecting something in return. As lawyers, we have a unique opportunity and obligation to “Support one another and build each other up” (I Thessalonians 5:11).
None of us has done it alone. We are able to soar because of those who paved the way, mentored us and taught us good judgment and legal ethics. And, so as not to forget, a quote from the National Association of Women Lawyers sits on my desk today. It reads: “Long before women could vote, they became lawyers.”
Mary Emma Ackels Karam is a healthcare partner in the Dallas office of Jackson Walker.