© 2015 The Texas Lawbook.
By Ignatius Reilly of 600 Camp Blog
NEW ORLEANS (April 1) – The John Minor Wisdom federal courthouse in New Orleans, headquarters of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit, is both an architectural treasure and a logistical challenge.
The high operating costs of the old building, coupled with other management challenges unique to New Orleans (unruly tourists wandering by from the French Quarter, rogue sellers of Lucky Dogs setting up by the law library, and amateur voodoo practitioners placing hexes on the building), led the GSA to study other options for that Court.
That work ended today with the Court’s official decision to relocate to Terlingua, Texas.
“We recognize there will be some e-filing issues at first, since Terlingua has no reliable electricity supply,” said a court clerk. “But we have arranged for excellent pack mules to haul filings in from Midland, and think the Bar will be pleasantly surprised.”
A GSA official further noted: “It gets hot out there in the summer, especially without air conditioning, but the law clerks are young and energetic and should do a great job waving fans at the judges during oral arguments.”
Plus, the relocation solves one of the biggest complaints federal appellate lawyers have levied for the past couple decades: insufficient parking.
“Sure, it’s a fixer-upper,” said a court official about the new facility (below), “but you can only eat so much shrimp remoulade and bread pudding.” “Besides,” said another, “instead of all that gumbo, now we can eat healthy at the World Chili Cookoff. And it’s really not that different – the Mississippi River does make kind of a Big Bend near Jackson Square.”
Actual Fifth Circuit sources contributed absolutely nothing to this report.
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